Idiots of Hollywood Issue #2: Brad Pitt, Kellan Lutz, Uma Thurman

Issue #2 of IoH is ready.  Read on, my friends!

1. Brad Pitt – you may or may not know this, but Pitt has been all over the internet this week due to a commercial that he recently shot for the iconic perfume Chanel No. 5.  This is a fragrance that has been around for more than 90 years and has included stars such as Nicole Kidman in their always-tasteful ad spots.  It appears that trend has officially ended with Brad.  First of all, why is a male star shooting a commercial for a female fragrance?  Hhhmmm.  Not sure about that one.  Here are a few sample lines from the spot: “It’s not a journey. Every journey ends, but we go on.  The world turns, and we turn with it. Plans disappear, dreams take over. But wherever I go, there you are. My luck. My fate. My fortune. Chanel No. 5. Inevitable.”  And the award for dumbest dialogue, but biggest payday goes to…..Brad Pitt!!!  Click the following link if you’re the masochistic type and actually want to see the commercial in full.

2. Kellan Lutz – many of you are likely scratching your head right now and asking yourself, “Who the hell is Kellan Lutz?”  Well, unless you are a hormonal teenage girl, you likely have no idea.  Lutz is one of the many lesser-known stars of the Twilight movie franchise.  He plays one of the good-natured bloodsuckers who is in the same family as Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart.  Oh yeah, he’s also made a couple of  HUGELY successful movies, as well: Immortals and A Warrior’s Heart (please note my sarcasm in using the word hugely b/c my 12 year old nephew has made more money than both of those movies combined).  ANYWAYS…take a gander at this whopper of a statement to spew forth from his fanged mouth recently (this is why he made our Idiots of Hollywood list): “I want to act for the rest of my life. I’ll win an Oscar one day, but I’m in no rush to get there.  I don’t care if that takes me 50 years, and I’m old. I just love what I do.”  Sure, dude, you’ll win an Oscar one day, but only if they create a “Best Underwear Model” category…click here to see why:

3. Uma Thurman – direct from TheLeftyWolfe’s “Stars of the 1990’s” files is Uma Thurman!!  Go ahead and just try to recall the last time Uma Thurman had a hit movie.  Or ANY movie for that matter.  Ah, but I digress.  Ms. Thurman was able to sneak on this list for one very simple reason: she’s an idiot.  How so?  Uma, who just had her third child, leveled this doozy of a name on the newborn: Rosalind Arusha Arkadina Altalune Florence Thurman-Busson.  Whew, that was a mouthful!  Now, take a guess as to what they will be calling the child…if you guessed Luna, you’re correct!  Excuse me, but where in the world did they get Luna from all those other names?  Not sure about that one.  In any case, Thurman did accomplish one very important goal with this naming…it made her relevant again, even if only on my lonely little blog 😦



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